Books - Companions in Solitude
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Invisible Boons of My Life
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Two phases of my spiritual life have been completed in 24 years between the age-span of 15 and 40. Deviations from the precepts of “Matrivat Paradareshu” and “ Loshthavat Paradravyeshu” normally occur during this phase of life. This is the period when normally the pull of cravings, lust, greed and ambitions is almost irresistible. This period in my case was spent in studying, thinking, introspecting, self-restraint, meditation and Sadhana. Generally persons past adulthood are selected for spiritual Sadhana. People of young age can, and should, shoulder the responsibilities ranging from financial management to military service. There is enough scope in these fields for fulfilling ambitions. The youth can also contribute in service activities. But youth is not the appropriate phase of life for spiritual leadership. There are a few exceptions like Shankaracharya, Dayanand, Vivekanand, Ramdas, Meera, Nivedita etc., who right in their early youth, successfully shouldered the responsibility of spiritual leadership. Generally raw youth is devoid of mature wisdom. Those who enter the public field while still gripped by greed for power and fame and are prone to temptations and sensual attractions, create problems for themselves and the society. Downfall of even the best institutions is caused by such novices. Though evil is not restricted to any particular age, the normal perception is that youth is for pursuing ego-centric ambitions. With receding age, a person grows physically weak and so do his material desires. With lurking fear of death entering the mind, an interest in inner life and religious activities develops. Hence scholarly seers have considered the post-adulthood phase of life appropriate for Vanaprastha (transition from material pursuits to spiritual aspirations) and for Sanyas (renunciation of all worldly pursuits). I do not know as to why my master engaged me in tapshcharya (life of devout austerity) at a very young age and in accomplishing it when I reached the age of 40. Maybe, he apprehended that I may slip down and get carried off by temptations of name, fame, pelf and power. He must have visualized that without inner strength and maturity, accomplishment of a great missionary task would not be possible; and that it was essential to inculcate in me the qualities of firmness, patience, courage and equanimity as pre-requisites before entrusting me with the great task. Thus, my youth and adulthood were spent in austere Sadhana. Everything went on normally during that period. The only uncommon feature was the “Akhand Deepak” burning day and night with ghee of cow milk. It was kept incessantly burning in the prayer room. Its spiritual or scientific secret was not exactly known to me. To me my Guru was everything; his instructions were gospel truth for me; discipline was everything; my submission to his will was total. To a soldier discipline is dearer than life. Call it blind faith, or love for discipline, whatever duty was assigned to me or whatever life routine I was asked to follow have been carried out with utmost devotion and dedication. The installation of Akhand Deepak in the prayer room is part of this process. After relying on the Guide and fully submitting to him, there was no question of doubt or debate. On being told that Akhand Deepak had a role in the Sadhana prescribed to me, I simply complied with it and kept it burning throughout the duration of 24 Purashcharanas. Later on, it became dearer than life. It could be put out after 24 years, but such a thought was tantamount to extinguishing my own lamp of life. Hence it was decided to keep it lighted. When I was away in unknown parts of Himalayas, my dedicated soulmate (my wife) would take care of it. Had I been alone without a soulmate, I would not have been able to do any other Sadhana. It was very difficult to keep the Akhand Deepak ever lighted. Servants, disciples or people of weak spiritual conviction would not have been able to do so. It could not have been possible by mere external alertness; it needed total inner dedication, which only a true soulmate could provide.
Maybe, this Akhand Deepak is symbolic of Akhand Yagya. The joss sticks may be playing the role of material for oblation, Jap playing the part of recitation of mantras, and the Deepak (Lamp) playing the part of offering of ghee in the sacrificial fire. In this way an automatic process of sacrificial offering may be getting accomplished. The pitcher of water and the lamp kept together could be instrumental in producing vaporization in a subtle way and be generating some subtle power, like steam in an engine. Or it may be that this external light is helpful in kindling the light within. Whatever it may be, I have been getting spiritual light and inner bliss from this Akhand Deepak in ample measure. This lamp placed on the pedestal was burning externally in the beginning. Later I experienced that the lamp was burning within me in the same form and was illuminating my entire inner being as the outer one illuminated the room. The illumination I was feeling within my body, mind and soul - in the gross, astral and causal bodies - might have been its repercussion. Throughout the duration of Upasana this light was glowing in the senses, just like the room was illuminated by the ever–alight lamp. Everything about me became illuminated, the veil of darkness was removed, desires and cravings vanished. Mind and body were radiating illumined feelings, thoughts and actions. The ocean of light was undulating everywhere and I was merrily swimming in it, like a fish in the lake. The role played by these sensations in the development of the power of self, divine outlook, and joy is beyond description. Maybe it is my imagination, but had not the Akhand Deepak been kindled my inside too would have perhaps remained as dimly lighted as the prayer room. Now it is seen glittering like the festive light of Diwali. It is in this emotional flow that the magazine I started years back in 1937 was christened “Akhand Jyoti “, the name that I liked the most in the world. Maybe it is due to this devotional start that the small sapling has now grown so large that its present circulation is estimated to be over 10 lakhs and the magazine is spreading its enlightened message all over the world.
On entering the third phase of Sadhana, the rays of “Atmavat Sarvabhuteshu” began to illuminate my soul. The first two phases i.e. “Matrivat Paradareshu” and “Loshthavat Paradravyeshu” were concerned with my own body only. When sin entered in the two eyes, the third eye of discernment made it beat a hasty retreat. The body was subjected to austere discipline and snapped the roots out of which sinful sprouts originated. So the evil tendencies had no soil to take roots. The “Sadhana of Matrivat Paradareshu” was mastered without any difficulty. Mind created a little trouble in the beginning, but the body was always at my command and control. The mind ultimately accepted defeat and began to cooperate like a good friend. By voluntary adoption of ‘poverty’ and minimizing the needs to the barest, as well as giving up the tendency to hoard, there was no question of coveting “paradravya” (other’s wealth). When one’s own earning was adequate to feed the stomach and cover the body, why to covet other’s things? Whatever could be saved after meeting the minimal needs was distributed among others. Those who are by nature prone to giving and distributing and deriving joy out of it can never hoard. A life style based on minimum needs, simplicity and a non-hoarding Brahmana (One who is devoted to spiritual pursuits and leads a simple altruistic life) has filled my inner-self with unexplainable happiness and contentment. Had this happiness and contentment been the way of life of masses, there would have been hardly anyone wanting to earn sin, by coveting other’s wealth. Merely boasting to be an Aparigrahi (non-coveter) would not do. How many can feel in themselves the unique joy that comes out of giving? In my case, I got the treasure of these divine gifts effortlessly. Now comes the phase of “Atmavat Sarvabhuteshu”. It means seeing others like oneself. These are very ordinary words while hearing and talking about and normally their observance is limited to civil conduct, formality, good behaviour etc; but in reality the expanse of this principle is very extensive. Its ultimate is the stage of achieving oneness with God. The concrete manifestation of this concept of “Vasudhaiva kutumbakam” (universal brotherhood) is to consider everyone to be a spark of our own self, feel ourselves to be intrinsically connected with others and likewise others with us. The result of this feeling is that we begin to feel others’ sorrows to be ours and others’ happiness as our own happiness. It becomes impossible for such enlightened souls to be bound within the confines of the ego. Such a person feels that the efforts he makes to alleviate others’ sorrow and sufferings and to promote others’ well-being are for his own sake. In this world there are innumerable people who are noble and happy, live a moral and contented life and selflessly strive for welfare of others. Seeing this, one feels reassured that God has made this world for fulfilling some noble aims. By and large goodness and wisdom are available aplenty in humanity and anyone can tap the source of these divine gifts of happiness and joy, peace and contentment in adequate measure. There is no dearth of saintly, philanthropic and spiritually oriented people here. They may be in minority but they keep on shedding their light around them. Their existence proves that there is divinity covertly dwelling in each human being and it can be awakened and made active by anyone with a properly directed effort. The earth is not devoid of the warriors of Spirit. Divine men do exist here. How great and magnanimous God is can be visualized on seeing persons who, moulded in divine image, have adopted the noble path of self-upliftment and upliftment of others through personal example walking unhurriedly and calmly towards their goal with dedication and courage. The very existence of these people bears witness to the inherent divinity of man and has made this earth so sacred that God himself is tempted to incarnate in human form again and again. Knowing how great men treading the path of noble ideals and deeds were inwardly rich and happy, though appearing outwardly poor, my inner being got uplifted to a realm of perennial inner peace and happiness. I often recall the story in Mahabharata in which Yudhishthir (the eldest among the Pandavas), goes to hell for a little while and his presence there made everyone in hell feel engrossed in joy. If mere recollection of these noble souls instills so much joy and imparts illumination I wonder how much divine bliss they themselves might be experiencing. Whatever nobility and beauty is visible in this world is the gift of these noble souls. The stability and order that exist in this world made up of unsteady atoms and molecules that ever keep dancing like devils are brought about by these virtuous souls. Whatever splendour and charm is seen in the inert elements scattered all over, give the glimpse of the efforts and the capacity of these great souls who have adopted the noble path. The dedication of these souls who have pledged themselves to protect and beautify this world by breaking all bonds of temptations and attractions, makes the world blessed. I wish I would earn the blessings of God by having the glimpse of and being engrossed in thinking about these noble souls whose noble efforts are vigilantly deployed for the welfare of the world. I wish to be blessed by touching their feet with my forehead. On getting a glimpse of these exalted human beings who are one with the cosmic soul, one is reassured that God is dwelling and moving on this earth in visible forms. In remembering the presence of these noble souls, one gets greater peace and happiness than that of heaven or salvation. This phase of “Atmavat Sarvabhuteshu” has not been one sided; it had the other side too. There is no dearth of sorrow and grief in this world. Innumerable persons are suffering from hellish pangs, pains, miseries, grief and sorrow, want and poverty etc. Problems, worries and complications are eating into the vitals of people. Many people are oppressed by injustice and persecution. Perversity has created hellish atmosphere everywhere. The pain of people moaning, crying and screaming in the wildfire of crimes and sins is so horrifying even to the onlookers that depth of the pain of those who actually suffer it be better left undescribed. There is no shortage of things of comforts and convenience, yet nothing other than misery and sorrow are starkly visible. By extending loving kindness and goodwill the sorrow could be eliminated, progress and prosperity could be achieved for all. But what can be done when the mentality has become perverse resulting in sinful actions? How can one hope to reap the fruit of heaven when the seeds sown are of hell? How unbearable the misery, poverty, sorrows and grief spread all over are becoming to vast majority of human beings? How proudly are people marching towards and falling in the abyss of sin and disgrace? On seeing and hearing about this horrible state my soul began to weep. Why did man forget that basically he is spark of Divine Effulgence? These problems constantly tormented my mind, but found no answer. There is no deficiency here - neither of intelligence nor skill nor time. People exhibit innumerable models of art and skills and perform wonders and miracles through inventions and discoveries. But why do they fail to understand that they cannot be happy by aligning with the evil tendencies, that it would be like pursuing a mirage and that the result will be grief and sorrow. If one more dimension could have been added to human intelligence and realization had dawned in his mind that it was necessary to develop goodwill and kindness towards fellow beings for achieving real progress befitting human nobility and dignity, the condition of this world would have been quite different. Everyone would have been living a life of peace and happiness. Nobody would have had to doubt or be apprehensive of others and no one would have been cheated or oppressed. In that conscious state of unity-in–diversity there would have been no trace of misery and poverty. How pleasantly the sweet fragrance of peace and happiness would have pervaded everywhere! Why is it that a human being endowed with the faculty of superb intelligence refuses to realize the self-evident truth that fruit of evil doings is misery and that of virtuous deeds is happiness? History bears witness to the fact that grief and downfall have been the lot of all those who took the path of injustice and selfishness. No one has achieved inner peace and greatness without undergoing the process of sublimation and purification. The true face of unmasked wickedness is exposed in the long run. Still many of us think that we can fool all the people all the time by permanently hiding our wrong doing. Why do the people who perversely think this way forget that the Almighty sees with thousand eyes, hears with thousand ears and grips with thousand hands and nothing can escape from the gaze of this omniscient? Once people understand this eternal truth they will spontaneously shun the evil ways and imbibe the sunlit path of goodness and self-upliftment; and thus make their human birth worthy and blessed. The pitiable plight of the wailing and screaming poor creatures who are trapped in the net laid by the crooks has caused me deep pain. The Sadhana of Atmavat Sarvabhuteshu has made me feel the sufferings of all human beings in the world as my own. I felt as if some one was mercilessly twisting my own legs. The Gita’s scriptural statement “My own soul is entwined in and interconnected with all the souls,” is meaningless so long as it is only repeated parrot-like. But when it becomes a concrete fact of one’s own experience the whole perspective of looking at the world undergoes a metamorphosis. As the pain of any part of our body makes us restless, or the sorrow of our near and dear ones disturbs us, likewise in this transformed state of consciousness the worldwide sorrows and sufferings become one’s own sufferings. The cries of suffering humanity (of the universal soul) of individuals and the society began to pour into my universalized soul and I became acutely concerned to provide relief – as does a mother when her own child is affected with some dreaded disease unmindful of her own safety. The condition of my heart and soul was akin to this and continues to be so. In this state where is the time to think of comforts of the ego-centered self? The things of pleasure and luxury seem to be loathsome like poison. Whenever the thought to acquire the means of pleasure and comfort arose in the mind it was looked down upon like the mentality of a person who uses the life saving water of a critical patient for washing his own feet. How can a mother fill her belly by taking the morsel of food from the mouth of her own child, dying of hunger? How can a sensitive father go to gambling or playing dice leaving his ailing son crying and screaming in pain? When the feeling of Atmavat Sarvabhuteshu filled my heart and soul, the whole of my inner being was flooded with universal compassion, soul kinship and loving kindness. This is the fourth-dimensional state of consciousness in which I now live. It has opened up vistas of endless progression. It has been heard that those who attain Awareness of the Self live happily, free from all worries. Such a state of Self-awareness is not at present the aim of my seeking. I do not wish to be liberated in this sense so long as pain and misery exist on this earth and creatures burning in the fire of suffering and hardships. Whenever I pray, my pliant to God has been that He grant me, not personal liberation and peace, but the compassion to feel the sorrows and the suffering of others as mine and to grant me the ability to wipe the tears from their eyes. This is all I have prayed for and I feel that God, who protected the modesty of Draupadi (wife of the Pandavas), is filling my heart with inexhaustible riches of empathy and compassion. Every cell of mine is filled with compassion for the suffering humanity and I have always thought of how best I could ameliorate it. Does anyone know as to how many nights I have spent sobbing and weeping? How many times, I have desperately cried like a child out of compassion for universal pain and suffering of countless deluded souls? People regard me as a saint, a seer, great writer, scholar, orator, leader, and so on, but has anyone looked into my soul and learnt to know the real ME? Had anyone looked deeply, he would definitely find encased in this frame of bones and skin a soul soaked in universal compassion and empathy for human suffering. So whenever I thought of Self-awareness, Liberation and Eternal Peace I was convinced that I do not long to achieve such an inert, inactive, dull state of Moksha (salvation) or Samadhi. And how can one achieve what is not aspired for? By experiencing the state of Atmavat Sarvabhuteshu, I felt my own self contained in everything that exists. The pain and sorrow of others pinched and pierced me so intensely that I thought of nothing else than the ways to relieve their pain. Who would then endeavour to gain a berth in heaven? Who knew how to please God and enjoy the pleasure of liberation and of heaven? When the pangs of human suffering became my own, the first priority was to find a way of relief. Other things could wait. If anyone wants to seek the real purpose behind my actions and activities, it would be enough to know that the time I have spent in thinking of the saints and noble souls and their goodwill and benevolent deeds have been the moments of peace I enjoyed and that when the pain and agony of others touched my heart, it pained and agonized me more than my own pain and agony. If anything for the sake of universal benefit, public betterment or public service has been done through me, it may be considered as my ‘compulsion’ as I had no other option. When in pain, what else can one do except struggling to alleviate it? In whatever way people may term my efforts so far, whatever colour they may paint it in, the truth is that the suffering of the world took the form of compassion and empathy due to an intuitive feeling within me as if this universal pain was my own and I have restlessly kept trying to get relief from it. The feelings were so intense that I forgot my own little petty ego-self. If anyone wishes to evaluate my work from the angle of sacrifice, self-restraint, simplicity, non -acceptance of charity, etc, they may do well to realize that it was only a natural course to the frame of mind I was moulded in. I cannot definitely say that I detested prosperity, progress, comforts and fame and have willfully renounced them. I was simply and by nature indifferent to it. If someone calls this natural indifference as self-restraint, Tapasya, it is his choice, but I have deemed it necessary to tell the truth to my people, since I have bared before them all the important chapters of my inner life, like an open book. My Upasana and Sadhana were done side by side. I prayed to God in order that He enters my soul in the form of illuminating light and transform my petty ego sense into the vast and all encompassing Soul of the world – that He Himself is. All the performance of penance, concentration and self-restraint, of the 24 Purashcharanas were focused on this central aspiration. The purpose of describing the ups and downs encountered in the path of progress of my Sadhana is to share with all genuine seekers of truth how spiritual transformation is possible even in the present day circumstances. If direct evidence is needed, my own cause of spiritual search can serve as a living demonstration of this fact. In fact I have lived an experimental life. Striking harmonious balance between spiritual ideals and practical life I have been searching for the path which enables one to achieve success in this spiritual seeking without faltering or getting lost in the way. All my physical and mental activities were focused on it. My guide provided the needed direction and guidelines so that I could tread along the right path without getting entangled in any maze. By treading the spiritual path according to a definite and systematic blueprint I have reached the stage where I definitely feel that the efforts have not been in vain and that the experiment has been successful. It is not proper for me to myself describe in detail, the heavenly boons and blessings that have been showered on me unasked. The occasion to reveal these should come after my departure from my physical realm. The demonstrations are so irrefutable that the non- believers will be forced to believe that the principles behind the insights and efforts of spiritual science are as concretely and convincingly demonstrable as those of modern scientific laws and discoveries. Future researchers who want to enquire into underlying processes and principles by which spiritual seekers are endowed with unshakable inner peace and innumerable divine powers, will find my life and mode of work as worthwhile research material.
-: Om Shanti :-
Maybe, this Akhand Deepak is symbolic of Akhand Yagya. The joss sticks may be playing the role of material for oblation, Jap playing the part of recitation of mantras, and the Deepak (Lamp) playing the part of offering of ghee in the sacrificial fire. In this way an automatic process of sacrificial offering may be getting accomplished. The pitcher of water and the lamp kept together could be instrumental in producing vaporization in a subtle way and be generating some subtle power, like steam in an engine. Or it may be that this external light is helpful in kindling the light within. Whatever it may be, I have been getting spiritual light and inner bliss from this Akhand Deepak in ample measure. This lamp placed on the pedestal was burning externally in the beginning. Later I experienced that the lamp was burning within me in the same form and was illuminating my entire inner being as the outer one illuminated the room. The illumination I was feeling within my body, mind and soul - in the gross, astral and causal bodies - might have been its repercussion. Throughout the duration of Upasana this light was glowing in the senses, just like the room was illuminated by the ever–alight lamp. Everything about me became illuminated, the veil of darkness was removed, desires and cravings vanished. Mind and body were radiating illumined feelings, thoughts and actions. The ocean of light was undulating everywhere and I was merrily swimming in it, like a fish in the lake. The role played by these sensations in the development of the power of self, divine outlook, and joy is beyond description. Maybe it is my imagination, but had not the Akhand Deepak been kindled my inside too would have perhaps remained as dimly lighted as the prayer room. Now it is seen glittering like the festive light of Diwali. It is in this emotional flow that the magazine I started years back in 1937 was christened “Akhand Jyoti “, the name that I liked the most in the world. Maybe it is due to this devotional start that the small sapling has now grown so large that its present circulation is estimated to be over 10 lakhs and the magazine is spreading its enlightened message all over the world.
On entering the third phase of Sadhana, the rays of “Atmavat Sarvabhuteshu” began to illuminate my soul. The first two phases i.e. “Matrivat Paradareshu” and “Loshthavat Paradravyeshu” were concerned with my own body only. When sin entered in the two eyes, the third eye of discernment made it beat a hasty retreat. The body was subjected to austere discipline and snapped the roots out of which sinful sprouts originated. So the evil tendencies had no soil to take roots. The “Sadhana of Matrivat Paradareshu” was mastered without any difficulty. Mind created a little trouble in the beginning, but the body was always at my command and control. The mind ultimately accepted defeat and began to cooperate like a good friend. By voluntary adoption of ‘poverty’ and minimizing the needs to the barest, as well as giving up the tendency to hoard, there was no question of coveting “paradravya” (other’s wealth). When one’s own earning was adequate to feed the stomach and cover the body, why to covet other’s things? Whatever could be saved after meeting the minimal needs was distributed among others. Those who are by nature prone to giving and distributing and deriving joy out of it can never hoard. A life style based on minimum needs, simplicity and a non-hoarding Brahmana (One who is devoted to spiritual pursuits and leads a simple altruistic life) has filled my inner-self with unexplainable happiness and contentment. Had this happiness and contentment been the way of life of masses, there would have been hardly anyone wanting to earn sin, by coveting other’s wealth. Merely boasting to be an Aparigrahi (non-coveter) would not do. How many can feel in themselves the unique joy that comes out of giving? In my case, I got the treasure of these divine gifts effortlessly. Now comes the phase of “Atmavat Sarvabhuteshu”. It means seeing others like oneself. These are very ordinary words while hearing and talking about and normally their observance is limited to civil conduct, formality, good behaviour etc; but in reality the expanse of this principle is very extensive. Its ultimate is the stage of achieving oneness with God. The concrete manifestation of this concept of “Vasudhaiva kutumbakam” (universal brotherhood) is to consider everyone to be a spark of our own self, feel ourselves to be intrinsically connected with others and likewise others with us. The result of this feeling is that we begin to feel others’ sorrows to be ours and others’ happiness as our own happiness. It becomes impossible for such enlightened souls to be bound within the confines of the ego. Such a person feels that the efforts he makes to alleviate others’ sorrow and sufferings and to promote others’ well-being are for his own sake. In this world there are innumerable people who are noble and happy, live a moral and contented life and selflessly strive for welfare of others. Seeing this, one feels reassured that God has made this world for fulfilling some noble aims. By and large goodness and wisdom are available aplenty in humanity and anyone can tap the source of these divine gifts of happiness and joy, peace and contentment in adequate measure. There is no dearth of saintly, philanthropic and spiritually oriented people here. They may be in minority but they keep on shedding their light around them. Their existence proves that there is divinity covertly dwelling in each human being and it can be awakened and made active by anyone with a properly directed effort. The earth is not devoid of the warriors of Spirit. Divine men do exist here. How great and magnanimous God is can be visualized on seeing persons who, moulded in divine image, have adopted the noble path of self-upliftment and upliftment of others through personal example walking unhurriedly and calmly towards their goal with dedication and courage. The very existence of these people bears witness to the inherent divinity of man and has made this earth so sacred that God himself is tempted to incarnate in human form again and again. Knowing how great men treading the path of noble ideals and deeds were inwardly rich and happy, though appearing outwardly poor, my inner being got uplifted to a realm of perennial inner peace and happiness. I often recall the story in Mahabharata in which Yudhishthir (the eldest among the Pandavas), goes to hell for a little while and his presence there made everyone in hell feel engrossed in joy. If mere recollection of these noble souls instills so much joy and imparts illumination I wonder how much divine bliss they themselves might be experiencing. Whatever nobility and beauty is visible in this world is the gift of these noble souls. The stability and order that exist in this world made up of unsteady atoms and molecules that ever keep dancing like devils are brought about by these virtuous souls. Whatever splendour and charm is seen in the inert elements scattered all over, give the glimpse of the efforts and the capacity of these great souls who have adopted the noble path. The dedication of these souls who have pledged themselves to protect and beautify this world by breaking all bonds of temptations and attractions, makes the world blessed. I wish I would earn the blessings of God by having the glimpse of and being engrossed in thinking about these noble souls whose noble efforts are vigilantly deployed for the welfare of the world. I wish to be blessed by touching their feet with my forehead. On getting a glimpse of these exalted human beings who are one with the cosmic soul, one is reassured that God is dwelling and moving on this earth in visible forms. In remembering the presence of these noble souls, one gets greater peace and happiness than that of heaven or salvation. This phase of “Atmavat Sarvabhuteshu” has not been one sided; it had the other side too. There is no dearth of sorrow and grief in this world. Innumerable persons are suffering from hellish pangs, pains, miseries, grief and sorrow, want and poverty etc. Problems, worries and complications are eating into the vitals of people. Many people are oppressed by injustice and persecution. Perversity has created hellish atmosphere everywhere. The pain of people moaning, crying and screaming in the wildfire of crimes and sins is so horrifying even to the onlookers that depth of the pain of those who actually suffer it be better left undescribed. There is no shortage of things of comforts and convenience, yet nothing other than misery and sorrow are starkly visible. By extending loving kindness and goodwill the sorrow could be eliminated, progress and prosperity could be achieved for all. But what can be done when the mentality has become perverse resulting in sinful actions? How can one hope to reap the fruit of heaven when the seeds sown are of hell? How unbearable the misery, poverty, sorrows and grief spread all over are becoming to vast majority of human beings? How proudly are people marching towards and falling in the abyss of sin and disgrace? On seeing and hearing about this horrible state my soul began to weep. Why did man forget that basically he is spark of Divine Effulgence? These problems constantly tormented my mind, but found no answer. There is no deficiency here - neither of intelligence nor skill nor time. People exhibit innumerable models of art and skills and perform wonders and miracles through inventions and discoveries. But why do they fail to understand that they cannot be happy by aligning with the evil tendencies, that it would be like pursuing a mirage and that the result will be grief and sorrow. If one more dimension could have been added to human intelligence and realization had dawned in his mind that it was necessary to develop goodwill and kindness towards fellow beings for achieving real progress befitting human nobility and dignity, the condition of this world would have been quite different. Everyone would have been living a life of peace and happiness. Nobody would have had to doubt or be apprehensive of others and no one would have been cheated or oppressed. In that conscious state of unity-in–diversity there would have been no trace of misery and poverty. How pleasantly the sweet fragrance of peace and happiness would have pervaded everywhere! Why is it that a human being endowed with the faculty of superb intelligence refuses to realize the self-evident truth that fruit of evil doings is misery and that of virtuous deeds is happiness? History bears witness to the fact that grief and downfall have been the lot of all those who took the path of injustice and selfishness. No one has achieved inner peace and greatness without undergoing the process of sublimation and purification. The true face of unmasked wickedness is exposed in the long run. Still many of us think that we can fool all the people all the time by permanently hiding our wrong doing. Why do the people who perversely think this way forget that the Almighty sees with thousand eyes, hears with thousand ears and grips with thousand hands and nothing can escape from the gaze of this omniscient? Once people understand this eternal truth they will spontaneously shun the evil ways and imbibe the sunlit path of goodness and self-upliftment; and thus make their human birth worthy and blessed. The pitiable plight of the wailing and screaming poor creatures who are trapped in the net laid by the crooks has caused me deep pain. The Sadhana of Atmavat Sarvabhuteshu has made me feel the sufferings of all human beings in the world as my own. I felt as if some one was mercilessly twisting my own legs. The Gita’s scriptural statement “My own soul is entwined in and interconnected with all the souls,” is meaningless so long as it is only repeated parrot-like. But when it becomes a concrete fact of one’s own experience the whole perspective of looking at the world undergoes a metamorphosis. As the pain of any part of our body makes us restless, or the sorrow of our near and dear ones disturbs us, likewise in this transformed state of consciousness the worldwide sorrows and sufferings become one’s own sufferings. The cries of suffering humanity (of the universal soul) of individuals and the society began to pour into my universalized soul and I became acutely concerned to provide relief – as does a mother when her own child is affected with some dreaded disease unmindful of her own safety. The condition of my heart and soul was akin to this and continues to be so. In this state where is the time to think of comforts of the ego-centered self? The things of pleasure and luxury seem to be loathsome like poison. Whenever the thought to acquire the means of pleasure and comfort arose in the mind it was looked down upon like the mentality of a person who uses the life saving water of a critical patient for washing his own feet. How can a mother fill her belly by taking the morsel of food from the mouth of her own child, dying of hunger? How can a sensitive father go to gambling or playing dice leaving his ailing son crying and screaming in pain? When the feeling of Atmavat Sarvabhuteshu filled my heart and soul, the whole of my inner being was flooded with universal compassion, soul kinship and loving kindness. This is the fourth-dimensional state of consciousness in which I now live. It has opened up vistas of endless progression. It has been heard that those who attain Awareness of the Self live happily, free from all worries. Such a state of Self-awareness is not at present the aim of my seeking. I do not wish to be liberated in this sense so long as pain and misery exist on this earth and creatures burning in the fire of suffering and hardships. Whenever I pray, my pliant to God has been that He grant me, not personal liberation and peace, but the compassion to feel the sorrows and the suffering of others as mine and to grant me the ability to wipe the tears from their eyes. This is all I have prayed for and I feel that God, who protected the modesty of Draupadi (wife of the Pandavas), is filling my heart with inexhaustible riches of empathy and compassion. Every cell of mine is filled with compassion for the suffering humanity and I have always thought of how best I could ameliorate it. Does anyone know as to how many nights I have spent sobbing and weeping? How many times, I have desperately cried like a child out of compassion for universal pain and suffering of countless deluded souls? People regard me as a saint, a seer, great writer, scholar, orator, leader, and so on, but has anyone looked into my soul and learnt to know the real ME? Had anyone looked deeply, he would definitely find encased in this frame of bones and skin a soul soaked in universal compassion and empathy for human suffering. So whenever I thought of Self-awareness, Liberation and Eternal Peace I was convinced that I do not long to achieve such an inert, inactive, dull state of Moksha (salvation) or Samadhi. And how can one achieve what is not aspired for? By experiencing the state of Atmavat Sarvabhuteshu, I felt my own self contained in everything that exists. The pain and sorrow of others pinched and pierced me so intensely that I thought of nothing else than the ways to relieve their pain. Who would then endeavour to gain a berth in heaven? Who knew how to please God and enjoy the pleasure of liberation and of heaven? When the pangs of human suffering became my own, the first priority was to find a way of relief. Other things could wait. If anyone wants to seek the real purpose behind my actions and activities, it would be enough to know that the time I have spent in thinking of the saints and noble souls and their goodwill and benevolent deeds have been the moments of peace I enjoyed and that when the pain and agony of others touched my heart, it pained and agonized me more than my own pain and agony. If anything for the sake of universal benefit, public betterment or public service has been done through me, it may be considered as my ‘compulsion’ as I had no other option. When in pain, what else can one do except struggling to alleviate it? In whatever way people may term my efforts so far, whatever colour they may paint it in, the truth is that the suffering of the world took the form of compassion and empathy due to an intuitive feeling within me as if this universal pain was my own and I have restlessly kept trying to get relief from it. The feelings were so intense that I forgot my own little petty ego-self. If anyone wishes to evaluate my work from the angle of sacrifice, self-restraint, simplicity, non -acceptance of charity, etc, they may do well to realize that it was only a natural course to the frame of mind I was moulded in. I cannot definitely say that I detested prosperity, progress, comforts and fame and have willfully renounced them. I was simply and by nature indifferent to it. If someone calls this natural indifference as self-restraint, Tapasya, it is his choice, but I have deemed it necessary to tell the truth to my people, since I have bared before them all the important chapters of my inner life, like an open book. My Upasana and Sadhana were done side by side. I prayed to God in order that He enters my soul in the form of illuminating light and transform my petty ego sense into the vast and all encompassing Soul of the world – that He Himself is. All the performance of penance, concentration and self-restraint, of the 24 Purashcharanas were focused on this central aspiration. The purpose of describing the ups and downs encountered in the path of progress of my Sadhana is to share with all genuine seekers of truth how spiritual transformation is possible even in the present day circumstances. If direct evidence is needed, my own cause of spiritual search can serve as a living demonstration of this fact. In fact I have lived an experimental life. Striking harmonious balance between spiritual ideals and practical life I have been searching for the path which enables one to achieve success in this spiritual seeking without faltering or getting lost in the way. All my physical and mental activities were focused on it. My guide provided the needed direction and guidelines so that I could tread along the right path without getting entangled in any maze. By treading the spiritual path according to a definite and systematic blueprint I have reached the stage where I definitely feel that the efforts have not been in vain and that the experiment has been successful. It is not proper for me to myself describe in detail, the heavenly boons and blessings that have been showered on me unasked. The occasion to reveal these should come after my departure from my physical realm. The demonstrations are so irrefutable that the non- believers will be forced to believe that the principles behind the insights and efforts of spiritual science are as concretely and convincingly demonstrable as those of modern scientific laws and discoveries. Future researchers who want to enquire into underlying processes and principles by which spiritual seekers are endowed with unshakable inner peace and innumerable divine powers, will find my life and mode of work as worthwhile research material.
-: Om Shanti :-
