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Soulmate and Collaborator in Life’s Mission - 2
Talks of bride coming home Taiji was very much satisfied when she came to know that Bhagwati Devi is religious by nature. She was getting worried after Shriram was left alone; now a solution had been found. Her son was tending more towards hard ascetic life; so her worry was that if this tendency increased, he might become a sadhu - sanyasi. After knowing the devotion of Bhagwati Devi, she was assured that it would keep in balance the tendencies of asceticism and pursuit of spiritual knowledge in Shriram.
Ramprasadji told about the bride, ‘She also takes care of the cows in the house. One Shyama (black complexioned) cow is so close to her that she (cow) takes her food / water only by her hands. If some morning she is late, then the cow starts bellowing. It appears as if she is calling her’. Ramprasadji further told that everyone in the home called Bhagwati Devi as Lali. She was the youngest child. When she was five years old, her mother expired.
All her brothers and sisters took great care of her. Father too cared for her so much that she never felt that she was lacking mother’s love. Ramprasad then laughingly told – “And listen Taiji! Your would-be daughter-in-law didn’t have any interest in playing in childhood. Panditji was telling that Lali had one doll of cloth. It fell sick very often and Lali would get engaged in nursing her. She would start worrying if the hands or legs of the doll got even slightly distorted or its cloth became dirty. She would take care of it like that of a sick person. One ‘Vaidyaji’ used to be called.
‘Vaidyaji’ was also a doll of cloth. He would come, feel the pulse, and tell some herbal remedy. Lali would collect the herbs, pound them and prepare an extract and then apply it to the doll. In this treatment, the doll would become slightly dirty. Therefore, after the treatment was over, she would give bath to the doll and change her clothes.”
Taiji couldn’t stop laughing when it was told that her would-be daughter-in-law had made a separate kitchen for her doll, where her meals were prepared. Other visitors (dolls) used to come to meet her doll. Their lunch / dinner were also prepared in that kitchen. No guest was allowed to go without taking food.
Engagement done Taiji was glad to know the virtues of the bride. Without meeting the bride or inquiring anything about her family, she approved of the relation. In order to fix the marriage, Jaswant Raiji came only once. He didn’t ask in the neighborhood or anybody else about the bridegroom. He only matched the horoscopes. After matching, he said – “They will make an excellent couple – like Shiva and Parvati – such is the planetary position in the horoscopes.”
Engagement was done; and Phalgun saptami samvat 2000 (March 10, 1944) was fixed as the wedding day. Same day it was also decided that Lali’s pet Shyama cow would also accompany her. Kanyadan (daughter’s marriage) and Godan (donation of cow), both, would be bid farewell from Agra. It was made clear that the marriage ceremony should be very simple.
Indeed, the marriage was performed with utmost simplicity. Shriram accepted only two Kurtas and two Dhotis of Khadi as dowry. For the bride also they accepted only cow. When the parents of the bride insisted to give some wealth in dowry, it was politely refused. In the Barat (marriage party), there were four people, apart from Taiji. The Sanskar (marriage function) was done like a family festival. When the bride came to Mathura, a Gayatri Yagya was performed, in which friends of Shriram also participated.
She became dear to all Soon after her arrival, the bride easily adapted to the atmosphere of the new home. Though it was hardly two – three days after her arrival there, it appeared as if she had been living in those surroundings for years. Initially the children were distancing themselves. In fact, non-acquaintance was the only hitch; otherwise they used to glance at their new mother from here and there. One day Taiji caught hold of the children and sent them forcibly to the bride. She was sitting on the mat in the courtyard of the house. She was busy in some household work. Taiji first sent Omprakash and then Daya and Shraddha. All the three children came near but stood there in shyness. Taiji was watching from the room. When she saw that the children are standing quietly, she said – “Omprakash! What are you observing, touch her feet.”
Listening to her imposing voice, Omprakash moved forward and touched the feet of bride. Bahurani (bride) held the hands of Omprakash, Daya and Shraddha and asked them to sit near her. She caressed all the three and asked their names, about their studies, etc. Out of curiosity, children too asked some questions. Later on they forgot what they asked each other. However, the children did remember Taiji’s words; she had seriously advised them to call the bride as ‘Maa’ (mother).
It so happened that the children called the bride as Chachi (meaning - aunt). They also used to call their mother by this title. Taiji shouted and said – “Now you are grown up children. Stop saying Chacha – chachi and address properly.” The children used to address their father also as Chacha (meaning – uncle). In fact other children of the family called Shriram as Chacha, and hence they also started calling him Chacha. When Shriram was married again, Taiji made the correction in their addressing the family members and asked the children to call Shriram as ‘Pitaji’ (father).
Bhagwati Devi, after caressing the children, said – “Now onwards don’t cause trouble to Taiji. Just tell me whatever you want, ok.” Omprakash said – “I never troubled her”. Daya said – “If I wanted anything, I used to insist. I think, insisting is not troubling Maa!” Shraddha was silently standing. Daya’s childish expression brought a smile on the face of the new mother.
From that day onwards, Omprakash slept with his grandmother and Daya and Shraddha with Maa. Whatever was required, they asked only from Maa. The needs of roaming here and there or playing were taken care of by Dadi (grandmother, Taiji). The responsibilities of Dadi and Maa were not divided. Both could share each other’s work, but the children reduced the burden of heavy work on Dadi. They understood that they should not make Dadi tired. After a few days, they got so much mixed up with their new mother that she appeared to be an old acquaintance; as if she had given birth to them.
Affection for all Bhagwati Devi not only took the responsibility of the children but also that of ‘Akhand Jyoti’ and of the guests visiting the family. Right from day one, it appeared that the home, the family and its members were well known. Taiji formally explained the arrangements and the needs of the home. There was no need to ask again whatever was explained. The homework began with upkeep and maintenance of ‘Akhand Deepak’. This was the first task of the household chores. She met children after that; and met Shriram even after that.
According to the tradition in that area prevailing at that time, the bride and bridegroom didn’t see each other prior to marriage. The bride could not meet him for a few days even after marriage. She could only side-glance her soulmate during Yagya or Puja-Path. When she first met him, she only felt that Shriram was not only her husband but her Aaradhya (deity of worship / devotion). It appeared as if she got Lord Shiva in physical form, whom she had been worshipping from her childhood. Message of Aaradhya
In the first meeting itself, Shriram said, “You have to take the responsibility of serving as the mother of these children. Other children will also call you Maa.” Bhagwati Devi, expressing dilemma, started looking at the face of Shriram. It appeared as if she was asking what he meant by this. Whatever Shriram said was not a planned talk. It came out spontaneously from his mouth. He said – “In future, we have to reach thousands of people. They too will come searching us. You have to give your affection to all of them like a mother.” Bhagwati Devi was looking at the face of her Aaradhya in wonder.
For the time she was standing agape, she felt that her husband was not an ordinary person but a torch-bearer. She didn’t say anything, only realized and repeated in her heart – ‘You are not only my husband, soulmate, and life-companion but also my Guru. Gurudev-Gurudev–Parabrahma.’ With the inrush of these feelings, she started chanting mentally the prayer of Lord Shiva – ‘Namami shamishan nirvanroopam’.
She used to sing this prayer in her daily worship. She offered this prayer at the feet of Shriram. This offering was not the one prescribed according to yoga, gyana, karma, vidya or bhakti but was done purely on the basis of samarpana (humble surrender).

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